Immortality
I lie down beneath the blankets and look trough the darkness. It seems to me that it is growing and filling the gaps on my bedroom. I feel claustrophobia and close my eyes, just like I am diving in all that darkness.
Then I can ear noises that I usually not pay attention. I ear the wind passing by my roof, I can ear my breathing and the air passing between the hairs in my nose, I ear a Tik Tak from the clock hanging in the wall.
Like an industrial metal song I ear Tik Tak, constant and loud. Then the gaps between Tik and Tak seem larger. My body seems to react to every Tik and to every Tak, it is my heart that beat synchronized too the Tik Tak.
Then like hypnoses I fall in to sleep. I leave the real world to meet my dreams, my nightmares, my past, my possible future, the unreal and the possible real.
Like a schizophrenic I imagine alternative realms. I cannot longer tell the difference between the real world and the dream world.
Possible those doubts are because I would like some of my dream world pass to my real world.
So many things in my real world seams like a dream, your touch in my skin my love, the flavour of your lips, the glow on your smile for example, seems like a Nirvana to me.
Other things in the real world seem like a bad dream. The hole that the lost of my grandfather bring to my life, he is present in my dreams.
Often I wake and I could swear that I can feel is smell on me, his voice calling me, his wrinkles in my cheek when he kiss me, then a tear drop in my face and wake me up from my dream. He is no longer among us, but he is still carried on me.
I do not know what I would find when I die, I do not want to know, but you died and dye with your blood my life.
Yes, sometimes I shade tears for you and blur the stains of blood you left on me, but you dyed me with so much blood that when I cannot find strength on me I drink your blood like a vampire to find one reality: you died, but you are not dead.
You live trough me and through all that truly loved you. Sweet immortality.
I love you. Come haunt my dreams again, and one more time talk to me I will listen respectfully.
Then I can ear noises that I usually not pay attention. I ear the wind passing by my roof, I can ear my breathing and the air passing between the hairs in my nose, I ear a Tik Tak from the clock hanging in the wall.
Like an industrial metal song I ear Tik Tak, constant and loud. Then the gaps between Tik and Tak seem larger. My body seems to react to every Tik and to every Tak, it is my heart that beat synchronized too the Tik Tak.
Then like hypnoses I fall in to sleep. I leave the real world to meet my dreams, my nightmares, my past, my possible future, the unreal and the possible real.
Like a schizophrenic I imagine alternative realms. I cannot longer tell the difference between the real world and the dream world.
Possible those doubts are because I would like some of my dream world pass to my real world.
So many things in my real world seams like a dream, your touch in my skin my love, the flavour of your lips, the glow on your smile for example, seems like a Nirvana to me.
Other things in the real world seem like a bad dream. The hole that the lost of my grandfather bring to my life, he is present in my dreams.
Often I wake and I could swear that I can feel is smell on me, his voice calling me, his wrinkles in my cheek when he kiss me, then a tear drop in my face and wake me up from my dream. He is no longer among us, but he is still carried on me.
I do not know what I would find when I die, I do not want to know, but you died and dye with your blood my life.
Yes, sometimes I shade tears for you and blur the stains of blood you left on me, but you dyed me with so much blood that when I cannot find strength on me I drink your blood like a vampire to find one reality: you died, but you are not dead.
You live trough me and through all that truly loved you. Sweet immortality.
I love you. Come haunt my dreams again, and one more time talk to me I will listen respectfully.
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